This morning my Quote of the morning comes from one of the most inspiration African Americans in history. He made history by becoming the 44th President of the U.S.A. He has remained confident and positive about the state of the U.S. and has never wavered in what he believes.
“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”
~President Barack Obama – 44th President of the U.S.A
President Barack Obama has taught me that even through adversity, you have to push forward. Change does not happen just because we want it to, it occurs when we work hard and are focused. It won’t happen in 4 days, 4 months or even 4 years. It has been proven that any change won’t actually manifest until at least 8 years after the change is made. Which means we are still reeling from the BS that Bush put into place!! Think about it….#foodforthought
This is Part II of my Dating Rules blog. If you missed the first one, scan through my blog and look for Dating Rules Part I. Part II is going to cover some signs that we all, not just women, should look for when dating.
We all like to make the comment “She/he just all of a sudden became crazy. I don’t know what happened!!” bzzzz WRONG!! They were already crazy!! You just didn’t bother to look past the cute face, skinny waist, nice lips, big ass, or swag. Don’t blame it on anyone else…..please!
Anyway, I have come up with a list of things that you (everybody) should look for….traits that someone may have that should make you want to RUN!!
If he/she has a habit like smoking or drinking that makes him belligerent, RUN!
Not only are these crazy habits to have but they can make a person be someone that they normally are not. Drugs and alcohol are what I call “attitude enhancers”. If you have an attitude or catch an attitude while on the “attitude enhancers”, it will be worse than any normal attitude. Nine times out of ten he or she will become violent or belligerent and the outcome does not look pretty.
If he/she never completely answers a question, you will always haves this problem….he’s playing games.
This is becoming an epidemic!! ***NEWS FLASH*** YOU ARE NOT KEEPING IT 100 IF YOU ARE NOT TELLING THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!! Just answering the question and not elaborating means that you are hiding something. YOU ARE NOT BEING “REAL” IF YOU DON’T TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!! If you tell the entire story from the beginning, you can avoid all the problems and heartache later on.
If he tells you off top that he’s not looking for a girlfriend, regardless of the reason, don’t try and change his mind.
He wants to remain single! Nothing will make him change his mind until he is truly ready. Please don’t think that by being patient and waiting that it will make him come around because he already told you from the beginning. He didn’t lie to you…he didn’t tell you that he wanted a relationship. Stop thinking that YOUR twat is so much better than mine or anybody else’s.
If he has a girlfriend, Don’t believe that line “I must not be happy if I’m trying to get with you.”
First, don’t mess with anyone with a girlfriend or boyfriend especially if you want the situation to end in your favor. If he “decides” to leave her for you, he will do the same thing TO YOU! Again, don’t think that you are soooo special that any man will just up and leave where he has been laying his head and that you will not see him make that same move on you. Any man that can’t be single or hops from one bed to the next without a break is not ready for a real relationship….he just wants somewhere to lay his head.
If he has a child that is less than two years old, RUN!
This is a trap!!! He and his child’s mother are either still dealing with each other or they haven’t worked thru all the kinks of their relationship so they still have drama. Please….please do not try to enter into a relationship with a person who has a young child and you are a SUPER jealous person. Someone will either be dead or hurt because it will not be pretty! There are too many men and women in this WORLD who don’t have drama and/or young kids…..find one of them. Situations tend to get pretty ugly when there are kids involved so save yourself the money, time and tears.
If his sneakers or shoes are dirty, RUN!
If he doesn’t take care of the things that he wears, he doesn’t really care about his appearance. The first impression can make or break a situation and/or relationship. This is why it is important to always try to put your best foot forward at all times because you don’t where or when you will meet someone special.
These are only a few things to look out for when you decide to start looking for someone to date. Don’t continue to be a victim of these men and women who bring nothing but drama into your life!
More often than not, we as humans dig holes for ourselves that sometimes we are unable to get out of the way we would like. We set goals and then sit back and do nothing. Or we create a vision board to showcase all of the things we want to accomplish but don’t take the necessary steps in order to put them in motion. Or we have all of these goals or things that we really want to do and we don’t write them down.
Knowing, making your wants visual and taking the behind the scene steps are all the “things” that get most people tripped up in the goal setting process.
Don’t you know that if you have no idea where you want to go, you are lost? Don’t you know that without Faith, all works are dead? Don’t you know that without persistence, you may as well not even start your mission in the first place…..
“Faith first, mindset second, goals third, action fourth, persistence always”. As I was reading The Daily Love by Mastin Kipp, I read across this phrase in his blog. A rule to live by!! If you have read or seen The Secret, you know that having faith and setting goals are really important in order to bring what you want into fruition! But if your mindset is not right or you are not taking the necessary actions to make your faith and goals produce fruit, you are ramming your head against the wall.
There will be roadblocks and the devil will try to derail you, but persistence is key! Don’t allow someone else to have your glory! Don’t allow someone else to take your dream away!
Have faith that you will see it through! Have the mindset that you can have what you want! Set your goals one by one! Set those goals on FIRE with action! And be persistent! Know that, you know that your dreams and goals will be a reality!
Every morning I post an inspirational quote on my FB page and this morning I decided to share it on my blog. Sometimes these quotes really speak to me and put me in the frame of mind to want to elaborate or share how I feel. This quote is perfect for where I am I’m my life right now and I may just post it on my wall at home.
Quote of the morning:
“It is better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one than to have an opportunity and not be prepared.”
March 10, 2012, I will be celebrating my 31st birthday partying!!! Lol I am having a party and I am definitely excited about it. “The Champagne Life” is the theme that I have chosen and I am super excited!!! I have been thinking about decorations and the champagne that I want to have…..it’s a lil overwhelming.
Last year, I wanted to have my 30th birthday but I flaked out…..this year I started the process so we will see. If you are in the area, please come join me!!
I went looking for all this information about dating, love and single women rules. After all, I am a dating single woman who would at some point in life be in love….lol. But after my weekend, I needed a boost or some type of outlet for all of these things in my head. I am so blessed to be able to come on my blog and just type how I feel! Its therapeutic with out paying all the money for a therapist or gym membership.
The guys that I meet….most of them are crazy, crazy or just plain crazy! They all try to make themselves and/or life look better than what it really is. Its shameful that ANY man has to portray himself as a controller of his destiny when he is just being controlled. Don’t claim to be a “BOSS” when you don’t own ANYTHING. Don’t claim to have money when you are worried about $100. Don’t claim to live a life that you don’t live….PERIOD! Its really becoming an epidemic and its spreading fast!! Men aren’t what they used to be and the same thing could be said for women (but I’m talking about men right now lol).
So I searched the Internet high and low to find what other thought about the dating world. What rules they had adapted and what made them adapt those rules? I found a fellow blogger by the name of Demetria Lucas, she is the author of A Belle In Brooklyn. She also wrote an article called “8 Essential Dating Rules for Today’s Single Woman“* in which she talks about some rules that she thinks every single woman should know.
She set forth the following rules:
Article 1: Married folk must remove all exes from their personal basket and return items to the shelf for consumption by the general market. Said married people are not obligated to hook up, arrange blind dates, or introduce their single friends to said exes.
Article 2: Currently booed-up people can still claim exes off-limits,if the ex is within the last three years. Upon entering a monogamous relationship, they must release all exes with whom they parted ways more than three years back into the open market for general consumption.
Article 3: All college boos must be released back into the open market for general consumption at three years post-graduation.
Article 4: All great loves remain off-limits to the circle of associates, regardless of marital/dating status.
Article 5: One-night stands are in play after ninety days. *Anyone your friends would say fits the description of Big on Sex and the City.
Article 6: Jump-offs who have not been active for more than twelve months are fair game.
Article 7: Your ex’s inner circle of friends remains off-limits unless the ex grants permission. His associates are fair game without asking permission.
Article 8: In the case of a man who has been “claimed,” i.e., an interest has been expressed, but a return interest has not been expressed, said man is in play of friends and associates after a period of seven days.
They seem pretty simple, but these are rules that woman struggle with everyday!! But these rules didn’t quite cover what I had on my mind. I needed a set of rules or things that all women should think about when meeting and dating these men of today. So now I feel like I have been commissioned to do this!! I have been thru enough in my adult dating life to know what we should be looking for as indicators to let us know when a dude is crazy!!
Another article that I ran across was on the Glamour.com website. The article is called “15 Love Rules of Single Women“** and it is comprised of different people giving suggestions. Awesome advice for people (not just women) who are having a tough time dating. (Me included lol) I’m only going to highlight a few of the rules….
Rule #1: “Guys are like subway trains. Don’t run after them; another one is on its way.” —canuck, on glamour.com
This is very true!! Depending upon where you in the world, the ratio of men to women can be ridiculous and discourage most women but you are in luck!! If you live in a big city, the ratio of men to women is out of wack….most definitely. Men are everywhere but the trick is to find a GOOD man.
Rule #2: “If he says he isn’t ready for a relationship, believe him.” —Kerri Otto, 32, Traverse City, Mich.
If he says that he is not ready….RUN!! This is a man that, depending on what he really wants, can be dangerous! Don’t think that he will change his mind or that you are the special one that can change him. He isn’t looking for a GIRLFRIEND….seriously. I’m serious….seriously!
Rule #3: “My grandfather had some gems: ‘Don’t be with a stupid man just to be with any man.’ ‘A real man always takes care of his family.’ ‘You don’t want to be walked over, and you don’t want a man you can walk over, either.’ And my favorite: ‘Don’t be a fool, Michelle. You can be anything you want, but don’t be a fool.’” —Michelle Porter, 28, Charlotte, N.C All of these “gems” are very useful especially the one about being with a stupid man!!
Rule #4: “Respect yourself. I said to my ex, ‘I’m not going to make you my everything if I’m only your something.’” —Alyssa Stabile, 19, Boston
If you respecting yourself, it will show in everything you do and a man will see that and have no choice but to follow suit.
Rule #5: “It’s OK to show up at a guy’s house with a dozen roses and declare your undying affection. It’s OK to have too much to drink and call your ex 20 times and then to be mortally embarrassed when you realize your number must have shown up on his caller ID. It’s OK, because making a fool of yourself for love is ultimately about you, how much you have to give and the distances you will travel to keep your heart wide open when everything around you makes you feel like slamming it shut and soldering it closed.” —Veronica Chambers, Glamour’s features director and author of The Joy of Doing Things Badly
I had to save this one for last. This is probably the best piece of advice that anyone could give but I urge any woman to know and make sure that he is the right man.