There have been times that I have wanted to apologize to you all for some of the females that are running around calling themselves women. These females lie to get what they want, tricking men into believing something that’s not true, giving them false hope and allowing so-called men to put their hands on them. Really….there is no excuse for any of the underhanded things that some females do to get what they want. But really that is where my sympathetic ear stops.
I have many male friends and some of them have children. I love my friends like they are my brothers and I try to make sure that I give them advice when they come to me with complaints about their baby mommas. Let me start by defining “baby momma” for those that may be a little confused. A “baby momma” is a woman that you have a child with and she goes out of her way to drive you crazy. A “baby momma” should never be confused with “the mother of my child” or “my child’s mother”. A “baby momma” is not a term of endearment. Check out the “politically correct” definition of “baby momma” at Urban Dictionary.
Men need to come up with better criteria for what they look for in a woman. Stop believing that any sexual encounter won’t or can’t become more than that. Whatever a woman really wants, please believe she can get it. It may take time but if she is persistent and has unwavering faith, she will have you and/or your child. And realistically, if she has your child…..she has YOU.
This is Part II of my Dating Rules blog. If you missed the first one, scan through my blog and look for Dating Rules Part I. Part II is going to cover some signs that we all, not just women, should look for when dating.
We all like to make the comment “She/he just all of a sudden became crazy. I don’t know what happened!!” bzzzz WRONG!! They were already crazy!! You just didn’t bother to look past the cute face, skinny waist, nice lips, big ass, or swag. Don’t blame it on anyone else…..please!
Anyway, I have come up with a list of things that you (everybody) should look for….traits that someone may have that should make you want to RUN!!
If he/she has a habit like smoking or drinking that makes him belligerent, RUN!
Not only are these crazy habits to have but they can make a person be someone that they normally are not. Drugs and alcohol are what I call “attitude enhancers”. If you have an attitude or catch an attitude while on the “attitude enhancers”, it will be worse than any normal attitude. Nine times out of ten he or she will become violent or belligerent and the outcome does not look pretty.
If he/she never completely answers a question, you will always haves this problem….he’s playing games.
This is becoming an epidemic!! ***NEWS FLASH*** YOU ARE NOT KEEPING IT 100 IF YOU ARE NOT TELLING THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!! Just answering the question and not elaborating means that you are hiding something. YOU ARE NOT BEING “REAL” IF YOU DON’T TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!! If you tell the entire story from the beginning, you can avoid all the problems and heartache later on.
If he tells you off top that he’s not looking for a girlfriend, regardless of the reason, don’t try and change his mind.
He wants to remain single! Nothing will make him change his mind until he is truly ready. Please don’t think that by being patient and waiting that it will make him come around because he already told you from the beginning. He didn’t lie to you…he didn’t tell you that he wanted a relationship. Stop thinking that YOUR twat is so much better than mine or anybody else’s.
If he has a girlfriend, Don’t believe that line “I must not be happy if I’m trying to get with you.”
First, don’t mess with anyone with a girlfriend or boyfriend especially if you want the situation to end in your favor. If he “decides” to leave her for you, he will do the same thing TO YOU! Again, don’t think that you are soooo special that any man will just up and leave where he has been laying his head and that you will not see him make that same move on you. Any man that can’t be single or hops from one bed to the next without a break is not ready for a real relationship….he just wants somewhere to lay his head.
If he has a child that is less than two years old, RUN!
This is a trap!!! He and his child’s mother are either still dealing with each other or they haven’t worked thru all the kinks of their relationship so they still have drama. Please….please do not try to enter into a relationship with a person who has a young child and you are a SUPER jealous person. Someone will either be dead or hurt because it will not be pretty! There are too many men and women in this WORLD who don’t have drama and/or young kids…..find one of them. Situations tend to get pretty ugly when there are kids involved so save yourself the money, time and tears.
If his sneakers or shoes are dirty, RUN!
If he doesn’t take care of the things that he wears, he doesn’t really care about his appearance. The first impression can make or break a situation and/or relationship. This is why it is important to always try to put your best foot forward at all times because you don’t where or when you will meet someone special.
These are only a few things to look out for when you decide to start looking for someone to date. Don’t continue to be a victim of these men and women who bring nothing but drama into your life!
I went looking for all this information about dating, love and single women rules. After all, I am a dating single woman who would at some point in life be in love….lol. But after my weekend, I needed a boost or some type of outlet for all of these things in my head. I am so blessed to be able to come on my blog and just type how I feel! Its therapeutic with out paying all the money for a therapist or gym membership.
The guys that I meet….most of them are crazy, crazy or just plain crazy! They all try to make themselves and/or life look better than what it really is. Its shameful that ANY man has to portray himself as a controller of his destiny when he is just being controlled. Don’t claim to be a “BOSS” when you don’t own ANYTHING. Don’t claim to have money when you are worried about $100. Don’t claim to live a life that you don’t live….PERIOD! Its really becoming an epidemic and its spreading fast!! Men aren’t what they used to be and the same thing could be said for women (but I’m talking about men right now lol).
So I searched the Internet high and low to find what other thought about the dating world. What rules they had adapted and what made them adapt those rules? I found a fellow blogger by the name of Demetria Lucas, she is the author of A Belle In Brooklyn. She also wrote an article called “8 Essential Dating Rules for Today’s Single Woman“* in which she talks about some rules that she thinks every single woman should know.
She set forth the following rules:
Article 1: Married folk must remove all exes from their personal basket and return items to the shelf for consumption by the general market. Said married people are not obligated to hook up, arrange blind dates, or introduce their single friends to said exes.
Article 2: Currently booed-up people can still claim exes off-limits,if the ex is within the last three years. Upon entering a monogamous relationship, they must release all exes with whom they parted ways more than three years back into the open market for general consumption.
Article 3: All college boos must be released back into the open market for general consumption at three years post-graduation.
Article 4: All great loves remain off-limits to the circle of associates, regardless of marital/dating status.
Article 5: One-night stands are in play after ninety days. *Anyone your friends would say fits the description of Big on Sex and the City.
Article 6: Jump-offs who have not been active for more than twelve months are fair game.
Article 7: Your ex’s inner circle of friends remains off-limits unless the ex grants permission. His associates are fair game without asking permission.
Article 8: In the case of a man who has been “claimed,” i.e., an interest has been expressed, but a return interest has not been expressed, said man is in play of friends and associates after a period of seven days.
They seem pretty simple, but these are rules that woman struggle with everyday!! But these rules didn’t quite cover what I had on my mind. I needed a set of rules or things that all women should think about when meeting and dating these men of today. So now I feel like I have been commissioned to do this!! I have been thru enough in my adult dating life to know what we should be looking for as indicators to let us know when a dude is crazy!!
Another article that I ran across was on the Glamour.com website. The article is called “15 Love Rules of Single Women“** and it is comprised of different people giving suggestions. Awesome advice for people (not just women) who are having a tough time dating. (Me included lol) I’m only going to highlight a few of the rules….
Rule #1: “Guys are like subway trains. Don’t run after them; another one is on its way.” —canuck, on glamour.com
This is very true!! Depending upon where you in the world, the ratio of men to women can be ridiculous and discourage most women but you are in luck!! If you live in a big city, the ratio of men to women is out of wack….most definitely. Men are everywhere but the trick is to find a GOOD man.
Rule #2: “If he says he isn’t ready for a relationship, believe him.” —Kerri Otto, 32, Traverse City, Mich.
If he says that he is not ready….RUN!! This is a man that, depending on what he really wants, can be dangerous! Don’t think that he will change his mind or that you are the special one that can change him. He isn’t looking for a GIRLFRIEND….seriously. I’m serious….seriously!
Rule #3: “My grandfather had some gems: ‘Don’t be with a stupid man just to be with any man.’ ‘A real man always takes care of his family.’ ‘You don’t want to be walked over, and you don’t want a man you can walk over, either.’ And my favorite: ‘Don’t be a fool, Michelle. You can be anything you want, but don’t be a fool.’” —Michelle Porter, 28, Charlotte, N.C All of these “gems” are very useful especially the one about being with a stupid man!!
Rule #4: “Respect yourself. I said to my ex, ‘I’m not going to make you my everything if I’m only your something.’” —Alyssa Stabile, 19, Boston
If you respecting yourself, it will show in everything you do and a man will see that and have no choice but to follow suit.
Rule #5: “It’s OK to show up at a guy’s house with a dozen roses and declare your undying affection. It’s OK to have too much to drink and call your ex 20 times and then to be mortally embarrassed when you realize your number must have shown up on his caller ID. It’s OK, because making a fool of yourself for love is ultimately about you, how much you have to give and the distances you will travel to keep your heart wide open when everything around you makes you feel like slamming it shut and soldering it closed.” —Veronica Chambers, Glamour’s features director and author of The Joy of Doing Things Badly
I had to save this one for last. This is probably the best piece of advice that anyone could give but I urge any woman to know and make sure that he is the right man.