Tag Archives: relationship

Knowledge Is Power

A poem by Me…for whomever…

I have decided that every day I will put forth the effort to learn more about myself and better overstand my life.
From the very beginning…to the present day, I HAVE to learn what has caused my people so much strife.
This thing didn’t start with Martin Luther King or should I say Michael King, Jr….do you know who I mean?
This thing didn’t start with Mary McLeod Bethune…these are just the ones they want to be seen.
This thing started the day they started erasing Our Story and calling it their own to make us feel like nothing.
This thing started the day they decided we weren’t worth shit and wanted to treat us like we weren’t really something.
You see….until Our History is recognized and Our Story is told truthfully….
These muthafuckas gone always feel how they feel and look at us stupidly.
Everyday that we degrade Our Women and make Our Men feel like shit….
Is a step in the wrong direction and empowering that Willie Lynch bullshit.
We must understand that Knowledge is Power and THAT’S NOT JUST A SLOGAN!
We must take control of our future and fix what is truly broken.






There have been times that I have wanted to apologize to you all for some of the females that are running around calling themselves women. These females lie to get what they want, tricking men into believing something that’s not true, giving them false hope and allowing so-called men to put their hands on them. Really….there is no excuse for any of the underhanded things that some females do to get what they want. But really that is where my sympathetic ear stops.

I have many male friends and some of them have children. I love my friends like they are my brothers and I try to make sure that I give them advice when they come to me with complaints about their baby mommas. Let me start by defining “baby momma” for those that may be a little confused. A “baby momma” is a woman that you have a child with and she goes out of her way to drive you crazy. A “baby momma” should never be confused with “the mother of my child” or “my child’s mother”. A “baby momma” is not a term of endearment. Check out the “politically correct” definition of “baby momma” at Urban Dictionary.

Men need to come up with better criteria for what they look for in a woman. Stop believing that any sexual encounter won’t or can’t become more than that. Whatever a woman really wants, please believe she can get it. It may take time but if she is persistent and has unwavering faith, she will have you and/or your child. And realistically, if she has your child…..she has YOU.

To be continued…….

Quote of the Morning!!!


Hello everyone!! I hope that everyone woke up this morning in their right mind and truly feel blessed today. Today I went searching for my “Quote of the morning”and wasn’t sure what I was going to find but I think this quote is perfect for how I’m feeling at this time in my life. I feel blessed to be able to share it with you in hopes that you share it and feel blessed as well.

So many times in life we depend on others to make us happy or we wait on the happiness of others to make us happy. This is not right! We hold on to past hurts and trauma. We cling to it like it keeps us alive. This is not right!

When you let others produce and maintain your happiness, you are setting yourself up. When you hold onto what someone has done to you in your past, you are setting yourself up. When you can not forgive, you are simply setting yourself up.

Quote of the Morning:

“When you forgive, you heal your own anger and hurt and are able to let love lead again. It’s like spring cleaning for your heart.”

– Marci Shimoff

When you hold onto others, past hurt, and people who have angered you, you are giving them YOUR power! You are allowing them to have a piece of you and you don’t even know it! It is only when you forgive them that you can move forward. It is only when you let go that you will begin to prosper. It is only when you are able to be truthful with yourself and others are able to be truthful with you that you can hold love in your heart. It is only when you don’t allow people to hurt you, that you can have abundance and live in it.

Cleanse your mind of all the thoughts, fears and demons that burden you from day to day. Cleanse your heart of hurt, trauma and hate. Cleanse your body of any parasites that are sucking the life out of you. Cleanse yourself! Believe and have unwavering faith that you are healed from your past! Love yourself, it’s the first step to finding true love.

~Lohnnie Cakes

First things first!!


Many of us move through life not knowing the simple pleasures of love. We think we know but then as time wears on and we move forward we find out that we were wrong. We attach ourselves to people who are no good for us and we know it! We let them suck the life out of us and we know it! We either have or develop low self esteem and allow people to do and say whatever they like to us.

Why? Why do you allow others to take your energy, love and prosperity and pass it off as their own? Do you love yourself? Okay….Okay….that should have been my first question!!

First things first…..Do you love yourself? Really think about that question because that is the most important question that you will ever hear as an adult. I’m not talking about being conceited or vain but I’m talking about having a healthy love for yourself. If you don’t love yourself, you don’t know what love is. If you don’t love yourself, you don’t know how to show someone to love you!

The things that you do for yourself, that person that you love or “say” you love should do that AND more. Love isn’t perfect but the person that you love should treat you like you are a diamond! Why? Because you are! You are unique! You are deserving of all the love in the world and should be treated as such.

So first things first…..Do you love yourself?

~Lohnnie Cakes

allaboutlemon-All Around, In, And Out Of My Own Universe

Women’s Standards for Men in Their Life ~~~

Standards (age 22):

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

Revised Standards (age 32):

1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

Re-revised Standards (age 42):

1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady — splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head…

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Dating rules Part II

This is Part II of my Dating Rules blog. If you missed the first one, scan through my blog and look for Dating Rules Part I. Part II is going to cover some signs that we all, not just women, should look for when dating.

We all like to make the comment “She/he just all of a sudden became crazy. I don’t know what happened!!” bzzzz WRONG!! They were already crazy!! You just didn’t bother to look past the cute face, skinny waist, nice lips, big ass, or swag. Don’t blame it on anyone else…..please!

Anyway, I have come up with a list of things that you (everybody) should look for….traits that someone may have that should make you want to RUN!!

  • If he/she has a habit like smoking or drinking that makes him belligerent, RUN! 
         Not only are these crazy habits to have but they can make a person be someone that they normally are not. Drugs        and alcohol are what I call “attitude enhancers”. If you have an attitude or catch an attitude while on the “attitude enhancers”, it will be worse than any normal attitude. Nine times out of ten he or she will become violent or belligerent and the outcome does not look pretty.
  • If he/she never completely answers a question, you will always haves this problem….he’s playing games.
         This is becoming an epidemic!! ***NEWS FLASH*** YOU ARE NOT KEEPING IT 100 IF YOU ARE NOT TELLING THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!! Just answering the question and not elaborating means that you are hiding something. YOU ARE NOT BEING “REAL” IF YOU DON’T TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!! If you tell the entire story from the beginning, you can avoid all the problems and heartache later on. 
  • If he tells you off top that he’s not looking for a girlfriend, regardless of the reason, don’t try and change his mind.
         He wants to remain single! Nothing will make him change his mind until he is truly ready. Please don’t think that by being patient and waiting that it will make him come around because he already told you from the beginning. He didn’t lie to you…he didn’t tell you that he wanted a relationship. Stop thinking that YOUR twat is so much better than mine or anybody else’s.
  • If he has a girlfriend, Don’t believe that line “I must not be happy if I’m trying to get with you.”
          First, don’t mess with anyone with a girlfriend or boyfriend especially if you want the situation to end in your favor. If he “decides” to leave her for you, he will do the same thing TO YOU! Again, don’t think that you are soooo special that any man will just up and leave where he has been laying his head and that you will not see him make that same move on you. Any man that can’t be single or hops from one bed to the next without a break is not ready for a real relationship….he just wants somewhere to lay his head.
  • If he has a child that is less than two years old, RUN!
         This is a trap!!! He and his child’s mother are either still dealing with each other or they haven’t worked thru all the kinks of their relationship so they still have drama. Please….please do not try to enter into a relationship with a person who has a young child and you are a SUPER jealous person. Someone will either be dead or hurt because it will not be pretty! There are too many men and women in this WORLD who don’t have drama and/or young kids…..find one of them. Situations tend to get pretty ugly when there are kids involved so save yourself the money, time and tears.
  • If his sneakers or shoes are dirty, RUN!

If he doesn’t take care of the things that he wears, he doesn’t really care about his appearance. The first impression can make or break a situation and/or relationship. This is why it is important to always try to put your best foot forward at all times because you don’t where or when you will meet someone special.

These are only a few things to look out for when you decide to start looking for someone to date. Don’t continue to be a victim of these men and women who bring nothing but drama into your life!

This post will definitely be continued……

~Lohnnie Cakes

My lil VACA

This weekend I had a trip planned for a small vacation in Atlanta…..never again on these terms!! I came here with the intention to relax, go out, have fun and enjoy myself….it didn’t quite happen that way lol…..

There happened to be a hair show going on this weekend in Atlanta so the majority of the hotels were booked and very packed. It was crazy!! I got here on Friday afternoon and it was a roller coaster ride the entire time.

I bought my cousin with me and ended up begging her to go on a lil “date” with me. Needless to say, I should have checked out and counted my loses after seeing how my “date” was acting. His behavior got worse and came to a crash and burn situation early this morning.

This situation has definitely opened my eyes and given me a reason to write down some things that all women should look for before starting a relationship. I don’t know if I was in real danger but the situation scared me enough to be more pre cautious.

~Lohnnie Cakes

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